He loved his wife and children. They seemed to have the picture perfect family. However, there were some things about his life that his wife didn't know. He was addicted to drugs and gambling. More than that, he had a habit of lying to his wife to cover his addictions.?
The truth never surfaced until the family finances became a problem. He had been juggling the family finances to cover his addictions. There was not enough money to pay the bills. Once again, he tried to lie his way out of it. This time it just didn't make sense.?
He had to admit he had mismanaged the money. He felt the pressure and finally confessed all. His wife felt betrayed. She was angry. The marriage relationship went through a stressful time. He promised that he would get financial help and counseling for his addictions.?
The marriage survived the crisis and was better than ever. That didn't happen over night. It took time, but slowly the temptations to drugs, gambling and lying faded away. Trust was restored in the marriage.
Marriage is built on love and trust.?All relationships are built on trust. Our relationship with God is built on trust. When trust is assaulted, the relationship between husband and wife is wounded. It takes time to restore trust. There is no magic nor quick fix. Trust is based on promises and experience. When that trust is shattered over broken promises and disappointing experiences, it takes time to restore it. Even after forgiveness is offered and received, trust must be restored.
Marriage intimacy is built on transparency.?Every lie is a brick which eventually builds a wall of separation between husband and wife. Even if the partner doesn't understand what is wrong, the psychological distance between the two is felt. Intimacy is diminished and communication breaks down. The core issue involves transparency. Without transparency, intimacy erodes.
Addictive behavior must be confessed before it can be resolved.?The admission of a problem is the first step to resolving the addiction. Denial and dishonesty strengthens the addiction. The addictions to drugs, gambling and lying must be confessed before any progress can be made toward freedom. The environment of secrecy?hinders any progress in overcoming?the addictive habits.
Resources are available to help overcome addiction.?Counseling and support groups are available. Some people resist the step to get help because of embarrassment. To keep the habit secret only strengthens its power over a person. Most of all, God's help is available. Confession through prayer is the first step in finding God's help (1 John 1:9). God is gracious and forgiving. He is a present help.
Restoration takes time.?Restoring someone from addictive behavior takes time. It is a change of lifestyle, and it doesn't always happen quickly. There are temptations along the way. When a person is sincere about change, they are willing to be accountable to a mate, counselor and support group. Restoration comes from accepting responsibility for behavior. Self-defense for wrong choices by blaming it on someone else is replaced with accountability and responsibility.
Source: http://richardetrader.blogspot.com/2012/11/restore-your-marriage.html
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